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a girl called Lauren's Journal

10th October, 2002. 8:14 pm. Hey everyone

Hey guys,

wow, i havent written in this thing since july. that seems like so so long ago. god. i wish it were last summer again. i really do. No part of me is glad that september ever came. well i'm glad that the play came, but after sept. 7 it should have been june 18th again. then i could live through that unbelievable summer again. it was ineffable. i really hope everyone enjoyed theirs.
school sucks, but its not bad at the same time. i hate math with a passion, and spanish too. i find journalism evil, yet i am an editor. i wish i was in d block mediation so that i actually got to mediate..and besides i wanted to be in that class SOOOOOOOOO bad. wanted is the key word there, i dont want to be in there now, but a part of me regrets not being in it.
soccer. i love soccer, so much. but seriously, whats going on with the juniors? its like we don't exist. two juniors who STARTED varisty last year hardly get playing time this year. and all of the freshman and sophmores on jv are being moved up while us four juniors work our asses off with little regcognition. i mean i dont midn that i'm on jv. after all the crap at doubles i'm just glad i am playing the sport again. but i have been workign so sooooo hard since january to become better, and i just hoped someone noticed. i know that some of the girls on the team did.
the coffee house was so much fun! i can't wait til the next one! me and jon are doing 3 by 5!!
jill and i are being cowgirls for halloween, i am stoked.
this is all incredibly weird for me. i am not used to my current situation, and i dont know when i will be. there are seven people who know what i am talking about...one goes to bowdoin, one lives in harvard, two live in melrose but go to other schools, and three go to mhs.

well, i hope that i remember to write in this more often..lol...i'd like to. for now i am going to go write myself a story or get some food.

and brad rocks. everyone... brad is the man.

Read 3 Notes -Make Notes

7th July, 2002. 5:04 pm.

chance is a funny thing. it can make or break your day. chance.

i'm looking at two books sitting on my desk. one's called 14,000 things to be happy about. the other is life's little instruction book. i'm going to open up to a random page in each.

page 288 in 14000:
-memories sitting like lonely men on the park bench of the mind
-sand sifting
-holiday soaps
-name calling
-summer, falling for a life guard
-cambells tomato soup
-machine prizes
-flannel trousers
-landing on:Illinois Ave, B&O RR, free parking, Tennessee Ave, New York Ave, Reading RR, St James Place, Water Works, Penn RR in Monopoly
-renting a winter house
- singing "and many more" at the end of the happy birthday song
-accidental meetings
-banana peels
-warm afghans
-park benches
-candlelight ceremonies
-dandelions growing wild
-believing that crying is good for you
-playing pool

Life's little instruction book:
never cut what can be untied
live your life as an exclamation, not explanation
every once in a while, take the scenic route
be brave, even if your not...pretend to be

Make Notes

7th July, 2002. 5:04 pm.

chance is a funny thing. it can make or break your day. chance.

i'm looking at two books sitting on my desk. one's called 14,000 things to be happy about. the other is life's little instruction book. i'm going to open up to a random page in each.

page 288 in 14000:
-memories sitting like lonely men on the park bench of the mind
-sand sifting
-holiday soaps
-name calling
-summer, falling for a life guard
-cambells tomato soup
-machine prizes
-flannel trousers
-landing on:Illinois Ave, B&O RR, free parking, Tennessee Ave, New York Ave, Reading RR, St James Place, Water Works, Penn RR in Monopoly
-renting a winter house
- singing "and many more" at the end of the happy birthday song
-accidental meetings
-banana peels
-warm afghans
-park benches
-candlelight ceremonies
-dandelions growing wild
-believing that crying is good for
-playing pool

Life's little instruction book:
never cut what can be untied
live your life as an exclamation, not explanation
every once in a while, take the scenic route
be brave, even if your not...pretend to be

Make Notes

7th July, 2002. 4:48 pm.

i fear: that i will never know what i want to do with my life
i hope: that my friends all know i love them
i feel alone: when my friends tell me about the times they all hang out
i listen: to anyone and everyone who is willing to talk
i taste: this fruit 2 o i'm drinking
i remember: when i used to write in this three times a day
i hold: onto everything that means something to me
i hide: almost everything from everyone less a few people
i pray: when i'm really scared
i walk: when i'm bored
i drive: pretty damn good considering i got my permit last tuesday
i read: a lot. i'm in the middle of the fountain head now.
i burn: easily...my feet are still burnt from graduation
i play: songs in my head
i miss: my childhood, a lot of my friends, the way things used to be, but that doesnt mean i dont like the way things are now.
i feel: good
i know: i was an idiot most of my life, but i hoped that i changed for the better this year
i dream: of running away to beaches where there is a small cape house with a beautiful garden waiting for me.
i have: my hearts desires
i am: happy with the way things are going
i live: from day to day
i crave: acceptance
i wont: let them get me down
i pretend: that i don't hear bad things
i smile: when i'm happy and when i'm hurt
i cant: hide what i'm feeling although i've always tried
i laugh: always
i lie: about stupid things
i wish: i wish that i wasn't in melrose anymore. i wish that i could be somewhere else, with several people there with me, in a new town to start over. but for the time being i guess i am just fine and dandy here.
i trust: that i will figure it all out eventually. but i still havent figured out what needs to be figured out.

PAST
first grade teacher's name: Mrs. Kennison...first day i met sarah
last thing you said: "i hope u go out, take the car, get pulled over, they realize that your 15 and ur s.c permit doesnt hold water in mass, u get in trouble...and have fun. by the way girls, the volvo is parked right here in case i wanna go out and drive. cya girls"
last song you sang: "Aint too Proud to Beg"-tempations
last person you hugged: adam
last thing you laughed at: my cousins wanting to go to boston adn jac being too scared to take the T at 4 in the afternoon.
last time you said 'i love you': last night
last time you cried: my birthday...it was a good cry tho
PRESENT
what's in your cd player: Phantom Planet
what color socks are you wearing: i'm wearing flip flops
what's under your bed: some weights and a jump rope
what time did you wake up today: 11

FUTURE
where do you want to go: to school? wake forrest maybe
what is your career going to be: i have no clue
how many kids do you want: a few
what kind of car will you have: whatever

OTHER
current taste: fruit 2 o?
current hair: messy..with bangs now
current clothes: jeans and my pink shirt with the heart
current annoyance: i have no way of listening to music on my computer anymore
current smell: strawberries
current longing: hmm
current desktop picture: alec
current favorite artist: music artist- john mayer or guster
current book: im reading the fountainhead
current worry: that i'm going get sick tonight
current hate: babysitting
story behind your lj username: its a song.
favorite article of clothin': theres this sweatshirt
favorite physical features: ha...everything,
last cd that you bought: phantom planet is missing and...something else..
favorite place to be: cape cod or savannah
least favorite place: the math hallway in school
if you could play any instrument, what would it be: i wanna get nasty at guitar

favorite color: teal green
do you believe in an afterlife? after watching defending ur life...hell yes i do
how tall are you? 5'3 or so
current favorite word: futastic...i say that a lot
favorite book: perks
favorite season: all of them
one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Joko, just to hear him sing rod stewart and make me laugh
one person you wish was here right now: adam
favorite day: any day

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

20th January, 2002. 6:13 pm.

i truely am sorry

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20th January, 2002. 5:58 pm. my apology

i read my entry and i realized i am an asshole. i know that i have no right to have said any of that. i was really speaking out of my ass. i know that i shouldnt have said all that but i was just trying to see the optomistic side of things and make people i dunno. i am an asshole. im sory. high school is imprtant. everyone has the right to feel however they want. i myself vent through livejournal and i dont know why i critizied ANYONE for doing the same. im sorry. i hope you can forgive me. im not gonn write anything for awhile because i know iwill just speak outta my ass again. im sorry. and everything that people wrote in the responses is true. im sorry

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

20th January, 2002. 1:33 pm. hey char.......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww

up, so i awoke from very nice dreams today (the head couch, the dinner, and the morning mail one again) to go to soccer for three hours. it was fun. char's re-cap of the past two nights have been very accurate. and an interesting short phone convo with blake. and right now im watchin the flying circus, but i see no terry gilliam. i see my michael palin and my eric idle. michael palin really is my hero.

well i might be going to the mvies tonight (aaaaaaw)

Make Notes

19th January, 2002. 12:09 am. ps.

ps. to the one right before this..

CHAR GRINDED WITH THE HOTTEST GUY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(but i got the cutie!*) :P

Make Notes

18th January, 2002. 11:42 pm. first social night in Ages

yah, today i threw in the anit-social towel and decided to go to the MC dance with char. oh it was soooo much fun. there are so many more people that go to that dance. and the greatest thing is, no one knows me! so that means if a guy asks me to dance..i dunno, he doesnt know that im some secretly dorky little hyperness lol i dunno! but anyways, it was fun. lots of dancing, screw running! im just gonna dance in my basement for a hour or so everyday. lol. ah. shakira! lol. "lucky that my breats or small and humble so you dont confuse them with mountains" and they played sum41? you cant play tecno and then fat lip. butany ways. so much fun. ri met up with ryan, alisha, and their friends dj. dj was wcked nice. andfunny. and ryan and i danced aaaaaaaaw jk lol. yup adn this other kid ryan and i danced. he was cute. lol. he looked like he could have been kid 3 in vinny's play. he had the hat and the whole biggity bam aura about him. and brendan actually asked me too. and then me, char, ryan, alisha, phil, and brendan went to papa ginos, it was closed. so we tried burger king, closed too. and finaly mcdonalds was in the process of closing but we still got to order. it was fun. oh yeah, and a girl from mhs asked me if i wa going out with brian m. it was really unexpected. yeah. and another unexpected thing, lol, was during hypnotize or back that thing up or one of those songs i was dancing with charand alisha and i felt soemone grab my ass and i turned around and his creepy kid was grinding with me. i was like "oh!hello?" and char and all them were laughing hysterically atme. so i finally i escaped and was lik "WWWWho the hell was THAT?!" lol oh god. so random. creeeeepy. im in such a good mood! even though im NOT going to weezer. lol thats okay,car's gonna come over and we are gonna put in that weezer live in concert cd meg made me and have our own private concert lol. yes!!!!!!! MCDONALDS PLAY PIN!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! yield forprincess!!!!OMG! DJ is Sir lanclot in Monty Pytons the holy grail. HOW COE MHS CANT DO THAT?!! i wanna do a pythons play. haha omg tara remember the tape we made in 7th grade? lol and the cops gave us a ride home! and the dog was suppose to kill us but instread Ema started to pee. LOL! me and char were talking about that! ol GEORGE!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!! lol. RAAAR!! oh gawd.

ive developed a horrible mix of a newyork/townie/southie acent the past week. its so bad! i sound sooo bad. haha.

quote of the day: And now brad, we wanderously aim aroud the high school.

second quote of the day "i got a belly button do you?" 'uh...no' "YOU FREAK!"

Read 1 Note -Make Notes

17th January, 2002. 3:51 pm. a midschool year's nightmare

gah. my favorite all time play, is a midsummer nights dream. i know everything about it,down to the charcter relations to the costumes, to the blocking. everything. and i was secrtly was going to try and get hiti to do it my senior year. but now! no and a musical? i'm not getting a part, never mind hermia. no it doesnt matter that i pretty much know all of helena's lines anda lot of hermia's, and te reason want hermia is because she is uppose to be really short. and that i am. but since its a given that i wont get hermia, maybe i'll get a female puck, or i really want to be Snout or Peter Quince even. Oor Tom Flute! EVen Starvling or Snug. ANd theres alway Hipotola if thats how you spell cause i suck at spelling. NO! It cant be a musical! aaaaah! if it wasnt a musical maybe i'd have a better chance then ido right now because i have such a crap vvoice! GAWD i wanna do shakespear soooooo bad! especially that play! its my fav! i want to say "I am amazed and know not wht to say" and "Puppet? you..you ttheife of love! have you come by night and stolen my true love's heart from me?" haha You Dwarf! Minimus! Acorn!

seriously these are the parts
thesius (spelled wrong)
hipolotla (spelled wrong)
the father
lysander
demetrius
helena
hermia
puck
oberon
titania
cobweb
mustardseed
a fairy(she has good lines)
peasbottom
another fairy
an ansamble of fairies
peter quince
nick bottom
flute
starvling
snout (who i want sooooooooo bad cause i knowtheres no way in hell im getting one of the lead females)
snug
a phiostrate
a little boy

and dont see the movie, like last year it was good to see fiddler on the roof, this year do notget the movie. i own a preformed copy of the play, if ayone wants they can watch it.

Make Notes

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